Monthly Archives: July 2014

Baby boy knows his mommy is overbearing

It’s hard not to be, for any mom. We worry about these babies before we know they’re even babies. We do everything within our power to make sure we’ve down everything we can to keep these babies healthy.

Anywho, I’ve been home from the ob for about two hours, laying on the couch, and watching Grey’s Anatomy, and baby boy Michels is moving. Like he’s saying “relax mom! Gosh!” It feels like a zing, or a itty bitty rumble. It’s lower than I thought. But he’ll do it in response to me pushing on him.

All today Joseph just kept saying “I just want to meet him.” and I couldn’t agree more. I just want to meet him. And love on him. And to show him how much he is loved.

Thank you all for the prayers and support today. It’s such a wonderful thing that a quick post like that, I had so many people praying for us and our baby. And we felt the prayers the whole day. Even when we were scared out of our minds, we both were able to step back and realize how thankful we are. We are thankful for the 17 weeks and 4 days we have had with this baby boy so far, and we are hopeful for many more. But so thankful for this precious life. Who’s growing and moving, and probably already annoyed at his mommy for being so worried.

Update 2

We waited in the u/s waiting room for about fifteen minutes until we were called back. She first did a abdominal u/s, we got to see baby boy, and hear his heart beat. She checked the placenta(which is on the back wall of my uterus.) and then told me to undress from the waist down so she could do an internal u/s. She did the internal u/s and didn’t say anything. Finished up and said “Go ahead and get dressed, then go back out to waiting room, the doctor is going to want to talk to you again.” Our hearts sunk. Our dr at told us that she wouldn’t want to see us again if everything was ok. So she’s in this room typing up the report and has to have two other u/s techs come in for opinions. We were panicking. We eventually were called into a room where we waited for the dr. She came in and said the u/s tech thinks I may have a varicose vein on my cervix. She had never seen one before, but they happen all over the place in pregnancy. So we’ll just monitor that, and it should return to normal post partum. That could be a reason for the bleeding. But more likely its my new sub-chorionic hemorrhage. I had one at 7 weeks, and we went to the ER for it. I have one again. She check my u/s from 6 days ago and I didn’t have one then, so it’s a new development. I am on pelvic rest, and limited physical activity (no heavy lifting, or strenuous activity) until my next appt which is 8/18. So that’s that. Apparently, I’m not very good at getting pregnant, and my body isn’t good at being pregnant. Thankful my cervix isn’t shortened or dialting. Thankful baby boy has a great heart beat. Thankful for so much right now. Just hoping this hemorrhage gets smaller and goes away soon.

Update 1

We were held is subwaiting for about an hour. Finally called back, and thankfully first thing she did was find baby boys heart beat. Mid 150s. This was not my normal ob, then she did an internal exam. Had to up speculum size so she could get a good look. She then asked if I’ve ever had surgery on my cervix. I said no. She then asked if anyone else had asked me that. I said last time I was in here I was asked that. She removed the speculum and said she was going to go get another doctor to look at my cervix. She brought in my normal ob who agreed my cervix looks angry. And that post partum they want to do a biopsy and something else(don’t remember the name.)

they both agreed my cervix feels closed, but we are now getting an internal ultrasound at 3:10 to make sure I haven’t started dialating further up. We were able to leave the office and get come O’Charley’s for lunch. If my cervix is dialating further up. We will see the doctor again after the ultrasound and figure out what we need to do to make is stop dialating. If not, we are free to leave. We are on pelvic rest until the next appt. I will update after the ultrasound.

thank you all for the continued prayers. d.

Update 1

We were held is subwaiting for about an hour. Finally called back, and thankfully first thing she did was find baby boys heart beat. Mid 150s. This was not my normal ob, then she did an internal exam. Had to up speculum size so she could get a good look. She then asked if I’ve ever had surgery on my cervix. I said no. She then asked if anyone else had asked me that. I said last time I was in here I was asked that. She removed the speculum and said she was going to go get another doctor to look at my cervix. She brought in my normal ob who agreed my cervix looks angry. And that post partum they want to do a biopsy and something else(don’t remember the name.)

they both agreed my cervix feels closed, but we are now getting an internal ultrasound at 3:10 to make sure I haven’t started dialating further up. We were able to leave the office and get come O’Charley’s for lunch. If my cervix is dialating further up. We will see the doctor again after the ultrasound and figure out what we need to do to make is stop dialating. If not, we are free to leave. We are on pelvic rest until the next appt. I will update after the ultrasound.

thank you all for the continued prayers. d.

Bump pics

I have a couple of bump pics to share. They aren’t super bumpy, but it is hard. So it’s a baby.WP_20140726_001

17 weeks, top down.

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17+3 side view.

I had a lunch with work people today. I subbed a lot at this school last year, so most of them know me, and they just kept saying how little I was and how tiny I am. I have to admit, it was nice to hear. I’ve never considered myself tiny. I’m pretty normal. But to hear those words knowing I’m almost half way through this pregnancy, it was nice to hear. I know I’m going to get big, and I am excited for that, but I think gaining weight is hard for any women. I am back up to pre-pregnancy weight. I was down 6 lbs for a good while, but I’m back up to normal weight. Which is good because I believe baby Boy Michels weighs about a half pound.

I’m not really feeling movements. I mean, I may be, but I can’t tell yet. I am pinning like crazy, and all I can say is my boy is going to wear cardigans like it’s his job. I LOVE cardigans. I love them. And they are so sweet and easy to make.

Have I mentioned on here that my little town is getting an outlet mall. It opens in two days. Thankfully, we’re broke right now, so I won’t be going until I get a pay check. I should preface, we’re not broke, but we did pay off all the medical bills (creating this child, ER visit, etc) which has made things tight for the next month or so. But it is nicer than having these looming debts. So we paid those, but now we can’t buy for baby. Like I have known baby is a boy for almost a week, and I haven’t bought one thing.

Honestly, I have known baby was a baby for 13 weeks, and haven’t bought one thing. I’ve MADE a lot (burp cloths, cute footed pants, a hoodie, hooded towel, homemade appliqued gown.) but I haven’t purchased anything. My mom bought us our first little outfit. It was before we knew the gender. It’s just a yellow striped footed pajama. It was 98 cents at a consignment store. But it’s sweet. Super bright, not faded or anything.

We registered at Babies R Us this past weekend, I plan on going and doing target soon. I know it’s probably early, but my friend is throwing us a shower in September, and when August gets here, my life is going to get MUCH busier, so I’d rather finish the registering now. I’ll likely have to go and update it, or add things in, as we’re still five months out, but the bulk of it will be done.

Being (force) fed

Food aversions and nausea have been back with a vengeance. I ran out of diclegis a couple of days ago, and its been rough. I refilled it today and will take two tonight.

The issue with food aversions now, as opposed to earlier in this pregnancy, is I’m hungry, and baby has caloric needs. So I have to eat.

Tonight I made a taco salad. I took a bite and gagged. Waited about thirty minutes and Joseph came over and made me bites, which I dutifully ate. Gagged a couple of times, but have managed to keep it down. Hoping the diclegis make this better. I honestly don’t have much to complain about this pregnancy, but the last four days have made me realize it is likely mainly due to the anti-nausea meds.

Saying goodbye

This time last year, all I wanted was a job. I wanted a teaching job somewhere. 355 days ago we found out we were pregnant. 344 days ago I started bleeding. If I had a job, I would have been starting my job somewhere between 344 and 355 days ago. There is no way I could have taught. If you recall, I could barely function. I have had the last 14 months free from the stress of a teaching job. And yes, teaching is immensely stressful.

In the last 14 months, I have dealt with loss. I have become a better wife. I have focused on being a great friend and great sister. I have sewn and created whenever I wanted. I have slept as long as my healing heart needed. I have cried all throughout the day some days. I have rewatched the entire series of Grey’s Anatomy several times. I have knitted stockings. I have watched and rewatched the entire (new) series of Doctor Who. I have loved my husband and given him all of me. I have greeted him at the door (most) days with a smile, hug, kiss, and an I love you. I have baked all sorts of yummy creations.

I. Have. Had. Time.

Tomorrow is my first “duty” of the school year. So I am starting to say goodbye to my free time. I am excited for this school year. I am excited to be teaching at the small private school. I am excited to be working. I am excited to have a regular pay check.(!!!!)

It’s going to be an adjustment. I am nervously excited.

No One Higher

Today at church, I was a mixed bag of crazy pregnant hormonal emotions. During worship, they played No One Higher

Which is a great worship song. About half way through I started crying. Like tears rolling down my face. Because our baby has ears and can hear, and you know what our baby heard today? Thousands of people pouring their heart out in worship. Including his mommy and daddy. And I couldn’t contain myself, I was so overwhelmed with the idea of Joseph and I raising our baby boy, to worship unashamedly. Belt out praise to his Lord and Savior. And it’s starting now.

He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

Matthew 11:15

And my baby has ears!

Then the sermon series that finished up today was titles Fake ID. It was about how we often identify ourselves with worldly attributes. When we should be identify ourselves in Christ. Any who, our pastor started out discussing Nominative Determinism. Which according to wikipedia (ya know, super reliable source) Nominative determinism (ND) is the theory that a person’s name can have a significant role in determining key aspects of job, profession or even character.

To a mother worrying about the name we have picked out, hearing this made me panic. The meaning of the name we are about 95% sure on is (with first and middle) Bald Prosperous Ruler. So I’m panicking. Names are hard. But then I realized, the whole point of the series is to not let anyone or thing define you outside of Christ. So my hope is that our sons name, despite the literal meaning, will come to represent so much more than Bald Prosperous Ruler.

We have been praying for this baby since before it was a reality. Before medical intervention. Before we even began trying. But I was praying FOR this baby. “Father God, give us a child we can raise to love and serve you.” This has been my prayer for years. Now it’d morphed into a more extensive prayer“Father God, help Joseph and I raise this child to be Your child. To not live for this world. To know, and love, and serve, and disciple in Your name.” And is it weird that I’m already praying for his future wife and his future children. I am.

Big time.

I am so thankful for all the BFPs happening in this community. Prayers answered! And for those of you waiting still, starting new cycles, new protocols, my prayers are still with you. I pray hard for all of our future children, these babies are so loved, and are so wanted. Praying and hoping the BFPs keep rolling in. Love you ladies!