Monthly Archives: August 2014

Maternity clothes

One of the benefits of taking so long to get pregnant, is that most of my friends who I see on a regular basis are done having children. So many of them have just passed along their maternity clothes with the whole “I wont need these back, so keep em’ til you’re done having babies.” Super thoughtful and kind. I was a bit nervous BC several of these kind friends are size fours post babies, which I haven’t been since college. But turns out maternity clothes sizes don’t really matter. Anywho, I now have more maternity pants and jeans than I had regular pants/jeans. So I feel like I’m set. I would like to get a mama parka from h&m, and also buy a pair of compression tights. Thankful for friends who are giving.


also, I know I usually make Calvin some piece of clothing on Sunday. I didn’t today, but have some big plans for cute outfits coming up.

First post surgery bowel movement.

Prior to surgery, my biggest blood loss occurred during a bowel movement. It would pour out of me. So the day before the surgery, I held in a bowel movement because I was scared. So today, when the urge came upon me to have a bm, I was scared. I made Joe stand outside the door. But the bm came and went, and the bleeding wasn’t anymore than I’ve had since the surgery, definitely less than before. I know its too early to say definitively, but so far I feel great, and I’m so thankful.

Cervical Varicosities

So, I have decided to make a whole new page on my blog about my cervical varicose episode. When they first mentioned to me this may be a cervical varicose, I googled. I know I shouldn’t have googled. I found a couple of places where women had asked different forums, but nobody replied with anything helpful, and those ladies didn’t follow up. So naturally, I assumed the worst, that they bled out when one accidentally ruptured. I found one medical journal article that I clung to as the source of all my information. But because of this, I wanted to write as much about my experience with it as necessary. So the hope is that one day, some scared pregnant woman will google cervical varicose vein, and find my blog, with all the information and experiences I had with it.

Mom gene.

We have seen Dr. W and his entourage. In addition to that, we’ve seen three from Dr.M’s entourage so far. One of the doctors that was in there stopped by and checked in on us. When she was leaving she said “Most people when they wake up sound goofy and aren’t making any sense. The first thing you said was ‘How’s my baby?’ You’re a mom already.”

Vagina has been unpacked, waiting an hour before they take out the catheter. Just having the packing out feels amazing. When the catheter comes out, I’ll be able to walk around. Dr.W didn’t sound like be wanted to send me home today.

I called my principal and told her I’m not suppose to work for two weeks. She said they’d take care of it.

Cervical surgery success

(is it alliteration is if doesn’t all start with the same letter, but has the same sound?)

So we registered at 9:30. We were back getting IV, labs drawn, and heard Calvin’s heartbeat.

 At 10am minister from our church showed up to pray for us.

about 10:45, my mom and sister showed up, my sister brought some sewing project she needed ripped which was nice mindless work. Around 11, Joseph’s parents showed up.

Several nurses and residents and doctors came to talk to us about one thing or the other. Dr. W talked to us so did Dr. M, just going over the surgery, confirming I would be under general anesthesia.

About 1145, the anesthetist came to talk to us. She said she would prefer to do a spinal if we were ok with that. We said we were(though I preferred general) if the Dr.W and Dr.M OK’d it. She said she check. She came back about 10 minute later saying it would be general. They couldn’t give me versed(I think is what its called) BC it isn’t allowed during pregnancy. Versed is a sedative that helps with anxiety going into the OR where you see all the machinery.

At about 12:15, they came to take me back. Joseph said a prayer and we kissed goodbye. They wheeled me into the OR, and I scooted onto the table. The anesthesiologist came in and put me out.

I woke in recovery really thirsty and having to pee. The informed me I had a catheter in, but I told them I really had to pee. They checked the catheter to make sure it wasn’t kinked. It wasn’t. They told me my vagina has been packed, and that was likely causing pressure that I was feeling. They gave me some pain meds, Dr. W came by and told me everything went well, baby was fine. They brought in a Doppler and I listened to the heart beat. They then asked if I wanted my family, but my vagina hurt so bad, so I said just my husband.

Joe came back and I was determine I had to poop, and that would relieve this feeling. The nurse put me on a bed pan, and nothing happened. I asked her if we could take the vaginal packing out(knowing that we couldn’t, but I was in pain) she said no, but she could give me more pain meds. So she did.

Shortly after, they moved us up to Labor and Delivery. My mom and sister joined us, Joseph sent his parents home.

when the pain meds work, I’m in barely any pain, just minimal pressure.

What happened in the surgery:

My cervix was full of these varicosities. So they put in a cerlage.

One of them ruptured and Dr.M told Joseph and our family’s it poured like a faucet, if it had happened at home, I wouldn’t have made it to an ER.

My vagina is packed and they will unpack it in the morning, if the bleeding has subsided, we will go home tomorrow. If not we will stay another night.

What this means for the rest of the pregnancy:

The level of bleeding will be greatly reduced. They said I may still bleed while these varicosities are clotting up.

I will continue under the care of my ob Dr.T. At 32 weeks Dr. W will begin monitoring me, and any time after that point, Calvin can come, and they’ll let him.

Apparently the doctors told Joseph I should not return to work for two full weeks. We don’t know if that means bed rest for those weeks or just taking it easy.

What does this mean for future pregnancies:

We don’t know if this will happen in future pregnancies, but they will monitor my cervix closely, and if these varicosities happen again, they will do something sooner.

Overwhelming Gratitude

Remember when I had my job quandary. I ended up choosing the lowest paying job, at a small Catholic school. I am so confident in that decision now. When I told my assistant principal the first thing she said was “Nobody can pray like I pray. Calvin and you are going to be prayed for constantly.” How wonderful to hear something like that. In a time where I am scared and afraid, her willingness to pray for me and Calvin is overwhelming.

It isn’t only her. It all of you ladies here. I am scared, but have calmed down a lot. But everytime I got an email of a sweet comment reminding me of how many people care for Calvin, the tears would start again.

We haven’t been shy about asking for prayers. We texted our families (~30 people) who are all sending up thoughts and prayers for Calvin and myself. We texted our small group (~14 people) and friends from different points in our life. And I cried every time I got a text with promise of prayer or some typed out prayers.

My brother recently went to Cambodia to meet his girlfriend. They met on a online dating site, and have been dating for 6 or so months. Anywho, they got engaged over there, I have never met the girl, but she makes my brother happy, and that is plenty for me. This morning I got a text from her. Saying my brother told her about our difficulties, and she is thinking about Calvin and I, and hoping for the best.

I took a shower and sat down, and spent the whole time talking to Calvin. I told him how loved he is. I told him how many people are excited to love on him and meet him. And I told him that as much as we can’t wait to meet him, we can and want to wait to meet him for many more weeks.

Our support is overwhelming. And the peace I feel from all the prayers is astounding. Thank you for your sweet support.

Cervix update.

Dr. W and Dr. M are going to attempt to surgically rectify this stupid cranky varicose vein of a cervix, on Thursday. I’m not sure what time.

The biggest risk is bleeding. The smaller risk is Calvin being born. We asked our doctor and at this point, chances are survival are minimal. If we were to wait until his chances of survival are high enough to give him a fighting chance, the risk of this thing rupturing and me bleeding out before we get medical attention is too high.

We are scared. That all there is to say.

We are confident that Dr. M and Dr. W are the right doctors for us. We are hopeful the surgery will be successful, and hopeful Calvin stays put for many more weeks.

After the successful surgery, there should be no issues going forth. I can carry him until he is HUGE and BIG and HEALTHY.

Prayers for God’s guidance for the doctors in my surgery. Prayers for Calvin to stay put and GROW. Prayers for peace for Joseph and I.

Contractions, Calvin, Cervix

In no certain order:

-I am having contractions. Kinda nuts. we were walking into the MFM’s office(more on that) and I told Joseph I was cramping. They got us in an u/s room and the first thing the tech said, was that I was having a contraction.

-My sweet boy is a mover. He is obstinate and doesn’t like his picture taken.

-My cervix is nuts.

We met with Dr. M, the ob oncologist, he told us he would look, he likely wouldn’t biopsy outside of the operating room because of my bleedy bleedy tendencies. He used the smallest speculum in hopes of not irritating anything. He looked through his microscope for all of 20 seconds. Back up, did a touch exam(IDK what to call it, but you know when the check your cervix with their fingers.) Then said, he does not think this vascular entity(he wouldn’t name it) is malignant. He then said he wanted me to see an MFM this week. He does a lot of cervical/vaginal surgery, so he gets sent all surgical patients, but because I am pregnant, he wanted the MFM to do an intense ultrasound of this vascular thing and make sure my cervix was ok. He also told us, when he looked through the microscope at my cervix, he couldn’t see it. All he could see was this vascular thing. So he told asked us to wait while he tried to get us in to see the MFM tomorrow. He came back in about 10 minutes and  asked what we were doing this afternoon, and if we’d be able to go today. We said we could absolutely go today, and immediately walked over to the MFMs office.

As we were walking into the MFMs office is when I felt a contraction. Anywho, we get to the MFMs office and they immediately get me back into the u/s room. We ultrasound and see Calvin boy, he’s doing well and growing. The MFM Dr.W came in(he’s actually the same MFM we saw for our fetal heart echo last week.) Dr. W asked that they put me in trendelenburg. I stayed like that for about 10 minutes, then Dr. W came back in and did a vaginal u/s and u/s the vascular thing. For like 30 minutes. I couldn’t see(I was still in trendelenburg) but Joseph could see. He concluded that this is likely a varicose vein. It starts about half way up my cervix, and proceeds to the outside, where it is everywhere.

“So what to do?” He literally said this allowed. He also said this is likely going to get worse. The normal first time mom has cervical changes in 30+ weeks, the fact that I’ve had this since 13 weeks…not promising for natural fixings. So as Calvin gets bigger he’s going to put more pressure on my cervix and thus this varicose vein.

The options:Dr. W and Dr. M are discussing surgical options tonight and will call me tomorrow.

1. Attempting to get a stitch around the varicose vein. The issue with this, if they stick the vein and it starts bleeding, it could be bad.

2. Attempting to get a stich around the cervix above the varicose veins origin. Issue with this, they may not be able to get high enough.

3. Nonsurgical options(mechanisms in the vagina to put pressure on the vein) balloon, or vaginal packing.

4. Nothing. Close monitoring. C-section. If we do nothing, he said he doesn’t think I should go past 38 weeks, and 32 is the goal(every week after that is a bonus.) Issues with this are continuous bleeding, chances of crazy bleeding.

Dr. W wants me on a stool softener(which I’ve been on since 6 weeks) and he said to take milk of magnesia a couple times a week to keep things really soft.

So, we will wait until Dr. M and Dr. W decide.

Prayers for wisdom for these amazing doctors. Prayers for peace for Joseph and I. Prayers for health for myself and Calvin.