Day before panic.

Tomorrow we have a crap ton happening. maternal heart u/s, fetal heart echo, anatomy scan, colopscopy.

Every time I have an u/s I am a big ball of anxiety the day before. Friday I didn’t feel Calvin move. Saturday I didn’t feel Calvin move. Last night laying in bed, I was panicking. I was worried. To top is off, last night I had some more spotting. Cue panic. This morning, I woke and still hadn’t felt him move. We went to church, and my mind was so preoccupied by my still uterus. Finally, I felt Calvin. I am still nervous and anxious, but I have felt him. He’s not where he use to be, so I’ve probably felt him the last several days, but it wasn’t where I’ve felt him before, so I didn’t realize it. The panic never leaves. The worry is constant. I’m feel much better now that I have felt him move today, but I know nothing is certain, I know nothing is guaranteed. I am thankful for every day I have had with Calvin, and pray for many many more.

After discussing with Joseph, I think we have decided we will not allow my ob to do a biopsy until post partum. This was the initial plan, but now my ob has upped everything on me.

Here is my thought process, they are concerned about the supposed varicose vein on my cervix. So, why on earth would the grab a piece of vein, which is just going to cause bleeding. but not like bleeding if you grabbed a piece of cervix, but the thing with veins is, THEY’RE FULL OF BLOOD, so it seems to me, like it’d bleed much more. So, I think we’ll pass on that. If she is insistent, we’ll get a second opinion, who will hopefully shed some light on the situation.


4 thoughts on “Day before panic.

  1. I’m so glad you decided not to let the ob do the biopsy. I really wanted to say something about it when i read your other post saying she had upped it, but I didn’t want to come across wrong. I’m personally very anti cervix cutting especially in pregnancy! I would think there would have to be risks involved if nothing more than extensive bleeding! I hope all your appointments go well tomorrow. I totally understand the nerves! I would definitely say that if you go a bit without feeling Calvin move, they could always give you an nst for peace of mind. I must have had a billion while I was pregnant – I’m such a worrier lol. 🙂

  2. I agree. Have you ever had a colposcopy before? They are extremely unpleasant and cause cramping and bleeding all on their own — definitely not something that’s going to reduce your stress levels! It’s they’re pretty sure it’s just the vein on your cervix creating the issue, I don’t think it should be an issue to wait.

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