A year ago

One year ago to day, I started miscarrying our first child. The past year has been immensely trying. There have been moments where I didn’t think I could go on. Too many moments of uncontrollable sobbing. Too many fears that we would never carry a child to term. Too many uncertainties about whether or not I could concieve again. And too much doubt in the Lord’s plan for my family. I love our first baby so much, and still think about him daily. The sadness is mostly gone, and in its placement is excitement to meet him one day. To hold him in my arms in all perfection. Calvin will know he has an older sibling who is in heaven, and one day, they will meet and have an amazing sibling bond.

but for now, I am thankful. I am thankful for our sweet baby on heaven. I am thankful for our sweet Calvin growing strong. I am thankful for the amazing man God gave me as a husband. This past year has been the toughest of my life, but the entire time Joseph has been there leading us, praying for us, and holding us together when it felt like everything was trying to tear us apart.

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3 thoughts on “A year ago

  1. August 12th was a year ago for me. And like you, I still miss my little angel every day. I still talk about her and tear up at the thought of her. I’m so glad that God has blessed us both with these beautiful rainbow babies! Praying that God will bless and protect you both for the duration of your pregnancy. XO

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