Monthly Archives: September 2014

26 weeks and cramping

We are 26 weeks today. I talked to Joseph last night about how I never imagined we would make it this far. That seems super negative, but infertility, miscarriage, two subchorionic hemorrhages, and this crazy rare cervical issue. I have bled like crazy this pregnancy, and that messes with your head. There have been so many days i knew it was over. But here I am 26 weeks along, and unbelievably thankful. God has been watching over us this whole time, and it is evident. There is no way we’d be where we are today, if his hand of protection wasn’t covering us. Everytime the enemy has tried to take our baby away, my Lord has shut him down.

26 weeks, and 13+3 to go. Calvin is unbelievably loved and prayed for by so many. He’s getting so big, and because of that I’m experiencing Braxton hicks contractions, and cramping regularly. But he’ll be worth it.

p.s. Writing this in a bw3s waiting for a to go order and sobbing out of gratitude.

Cousins

My angel baby was joined today by a cousin. My older brother’s girlfriend miscarried today. This is the 2nd person close to me who has miscarried after I have. I had a good friend miscarry before we lost out baby, and you just don’t understand. I didn’t.  It isn’t a bad thing. And in fact, after the immediate devastating grief, I was a little thankful the pain I was experiencing wasn’t understand by more people close to me. I was thankful that they never had to experience the grief of losing a child. A child whose tomorrow’s will never happen.

Today, getting the text from my brother brought back all the raw emotions of the initial loss. He and his girlfriend lost their child. I lost a niece or nephew.

It really is very similar to this.

I’m sorry my brother and his girlfriend had to join the club today.

Diaper bag

I’m a pretty low key kinda person. When I registered at buy buy baby, they told me to register for a diaper bag for myself and Joseph. Joseph isn’t going to carry a diaper bag. He doesn’t care that much about it, and he’ll just haul mine around if he needs one. Anywho, I started thinking about what I wanted in a diaper bag.

diaperbag

This is the one I just purchased from Lands End. I didn’t get it embroidered bc I can DIY it with whatever we decided. It was $34.50, but today there was a 30% off one item, so It came to around $24. I figure it’s inexpensive enough that I could buy one for every kid. So I very well may embroider it with “Calvin.” I think it has four inside pocket, and the outside one. I am planning on water proofing it when I get it, I’m not sure how yet, but I’m excited to get it! yay!

What’s up in our world

Nesting. I still haven’t gotten the pictures from our shower, but it has definitely sparked my desire to nest. Currently all of Calvin’s stuff is piled up in our Kiddo room,WP_20140921_009 while Calvin’s room is full of our crap.

WP_20140921_010

So in order to get the kiddo room cleared out, we need to get Calvin’s room cleared out. Which means we have to find a place to put Joseph’s computers and desk, and my sewing machines and desk.

Originally we thought we’d put the computers in our room. But before we could do that, I wanted to pain out room. It used to be purple.WP_20140920_001

We finished painting it today. It is now a light robins egg blue.WP_20140921_008

It isn’t put back together or anything. We are hoping to get some adult furniture. And I’m going to do new curtains. And get new bedding. But these are minor details. I think I love it. It is so much lighter and brighter.

So nesting is in full swing.

We’re 25 weeks 1 day today. Next big milestone is 20 days away. At 28 weeks Calvin’s brain is done developing, so if born early, we’d just be dealing with lung issues.WP_20140921_001

Um, and my stomach is huge.

Viability!!!

I can’t tell you all how relieved I am to have made it viability. 24 weeks was the big goal. I know that sounds silly, but now my kid has a fighting chance. Today was wonderful, we had our first baby shower. It was a family shower with our old church small group, and our new church small group. In terms of showers, it wasn’t much of one, and it was perfect. It was just like a wonderful BBQ, we had perfect weather, and just hung out. There was cornhole, football game on the tv, and catching up with great friends. Kids were running wild, babies were double fisting cake pops, and Joseph, Calvin and I were loved exquisitely.

in terms of growth, I’m officially up four pounds from prepregnancy weight. We had another extensive u/s Thursday, Calvin’s femur is still measuring about a week behind, but my ob isn’t concerned. Everything else is measuring pretty much dead on, except for his big ole belly measuring about a week ahead. I’ll take a chunky baby. I’ll post our baby shower pics when we get them from our friend, but I have the greatest friends. Here’s a belly shot for this week. Keep on growing sweet boy!

OB update

Yesterday I met with my OB. She checked the heart rate, in the 140s(my boy is consistent, I don’t think we’ve ever had anything different since around 13 weeks.) She asked how the bleeding was, and then said we’d decided the mode of delivery at 35 weeks. I told her honestly, a vaginal delivery, given all my craziness, makes me nervous. She said that she understands, and in my position, she would be nervous as well. She then said, if I wanted to do a c-section and just avoid the crazy cervix altogether, she was perfectly fine with that. So that is what we’re doing. She’s going to talk to Dr. W our MFM, because if we do a c-section, she would prefer to leave the cerclage in until 6 weeks post partum to let the cervical swelling and craziness from pregnancy go down. So I have the latest date possible Calvin will be here. December 30th sounds like a great day to have a baby doesn’t it?

I know that I will likely get some flack for this decision, but those people haven’t experienced the bleeding and fear that Joseph and I have. And letting my cervix dialate and efface makes us nervous, then to push a baby through the cervix…it just seems safest for us to avoid the cervix altogether. In fact, my OB said she’s not doing any more speculum exams, she’s going to send me to Dr. W for them. She admitted that when she attempted the colposcopy and I started bleeding, she didn’t know if she would be able to stop it. So she understands the issues and is fully supportive. She also informed me that I am a case study and Dr. W and Dr. M are writing it up. I am so thankful she passed me on to them when she did. And I am thankful as of now, she will be delivering Calvin. If I go early, it could absolutely be a different doctor from the practice, but for now it’s Dr. T. On December 30th 2014, at 12 noon!

Calvin Pic

Calvin23w5d

So we have our follow up appt with the MFM today, and they got some good picture of our little guy. He does this every ultrasound, he take one of his hands, and he’ll cup the opposite side of his face. Joseph and I both tried it, it’s pretty not comfortable. But whatever. This boy is super.

I didn’t mention it because I don’t know anything, but at our fetal heart echo and our anatomy scan, the tech saw a shortened femur(everything else measured on target or a head, but his femur was about a week or so behing), along with echo showing several echogenic foci(4 maybe), and a sandal gap toe. I knew something was up when she went back to measure the femur a after finishing all the other measurements. So I googled. A Shortened femur and echogenic foci are two “medium” markers for down syndrome, the sandal gap toe is a soft marker. This scan was almost 4 weeks ago, and because of my surgery I had to cancel our appt where we were going to get the results. Today they measured the femur again, it is measuring about a week behind. I’m not super worried, but I am aware.

At my age, the chances are roughly 1 in 1250. An Joseph has short legs, and a toe gap. So honestly, I’m thinking he just has his daddy’s legs. But I am aware.

Cervix update

We had our follow up for the surgery with the MFM today. He said it looks great in the sense that he can actually make out a cervix! There is still some vasculature but it is looking much more normal. Now I go back to my normal ob til 35 weeks, then I’ll have a check up with a new MFM(mine is taking a new specialty boards in Feb, so he’ll be done practicing by October) at which time they’ll decide what to do from there. Best case scenario is they’ll clip the cerclage and let nature take its course for a vaginal delivery.

 

Breast pump

I know many of you ladies are waiting for you bfps, but I did want to tell all of you(because I’m hoping so soon all of you all need one.) Obama will buy you a breast pump. Seriously. Call your insurance and check. Of all the women I’ve talked to about it (9 total) 8 of their insurances will cover IN FULL a double sided mechanical breast pump. My insurance requires a prescription from your ob(which isn’t an issue) but will give you either a Medela pump in style, or an Ameda something or other.

My friend told me to check with my insurance, and I put it off, but finally they called me about some healthy pregnancy program and I asked.

So ladies who are currently knocked up, or those of you who will be shortly, get you a free breast pump!