Monthly Archives: January 2015

Time flies

Today Calvin is one month old. Joseph got a bit frustrated with me last night BC I mentioned something about the next baby, and he said, to Calvin ” see, she can’t even stop and be content, shes already planning the next one.” It hurt my feelings initially, I was thinking”I would love to not have to think about it and pray that we are blessed with a surprise but chances are it’s going to take medical intervention and time for us.” But then I stopped pouting and had a reality check.

this month is gone. I will never get it back. I have loved it, but have I appreciated it for all it is? No. It makes me sad to admit it, but I have dreaded the night feedings Wished for Calvin to just go to sleep after an exhausting day, snapped at Joseph over nothing. But how to you, in the moment, decide to enjoy the extra cuddle time at 3am? How do I show patience and extend grace to Joseph when we’re both running on fumes? How do I say forget napping in the crib, I’m going to hold my boy while he’ll still let me?

I hope to find out soon. Over the next month I hope my perspective Changes. I pray that contentment overwhelms me. I pray that I can appreciate all I have right this very moment, and not dream about Calvin sleeping through the night, but treasure our middle of the night moments while they’re here.

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We’re a cuddly people

Both Joseph and I love to cuddle and hold each other. The last couple weeks I was pregnant, the only way I got any good sleep was if Joseph was right next to me holding me. We have a king size bed, and when I was all huge and 9 months pregnant, we took up may be a twin size bed space on our mattress.

So Joseph and I made a baby together, and guess what, he’s cuddly. He likes to be held, and rocked, and worn. He’ll fall asleep on seconds on our chest, or in our arms.

Calvin will be month old this week, so I’m starting to read several different methods of sleep training. And I know I don’t want Calvin dependent on crutches to sleep. But I cuddling is his nature. I don’t want to break him of the cuddle. So all of these I’m reading, I’m having a hard time with, BC it is part of his personality, a part that I love, to cuddle. Crying it out wont work. I’m currently struggling even with the put him down drowsy, but awake thing.

also, mama out there, 3 weeks too early to start any of this? I know we can start establishing general routine(eat, play, sleep) and good sleep habits (not nursing to sleep, sleeping not in somebody’s arms.) but other than that, he needs to eat when he needs to eat, and sleep when he needs to sleep. Right?
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Things I said I wouldn’t do.

Calvin is congested. Choke and sputter on mucous congested. It’s probably my fail BC I am too. We had always said C would sleep flay BC we we have a nephew who slept in a rock n play and when it came time to sleep in a crib, he refused. So we got the more expensive Moses basket and C has slept there every night except last night BC of this congestion. He slept in his bouncer seat to help him breathe. The difference in noise levels between him breathing in the Moses basket and the bouncer seat is unbelievable, its so much easier for him, so now we both just need to get rid of this cold.hopefully transitioning back to flat wont be too hard.

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3 weeks post-partum


I’m still up 3 pounds, but these are my (slightly uncomfortable) skinny jeans.

Breast feeding is going well. My pediatrician told me if he is actively vigorously sucking and swallowing, we can do 10-15 minutes on each side! HALLELUJAH! seriously, cutting down my nursing time to 30 minutes max.

In terms of healing. My scar looks GREAT. My ob injected the incision with steroids twice, then told me to rub vitamin e capsules on it. It’s a bit itchy, but other than that its fine. I have had some pain in my abdominal muscles. Just on the right side. It feels like I have pulled my abs. its hurt so bad occasionally that I cant laugh, It has me taking my anaprox again

I’m meeting with a lactation consultant Thursday to discuss pumping. I’m looking forward to it, I have about 18 ounces frozen just from random pumping with my manual pump, but I just got my pump in style, which should do even better.

Three weeks

Well, C is three weeks old, and decided to celebrate by a night of no sleep. It was enough out of character that I, over protective new mom, emailed the pediatrician. I thought he was having some major gas build up and pains. The nurse who responded said I sounded like an ear infection, and that we should come in. We did. No ear infection. Nothing really our of the ordinary. But the Dr we saw was our normal ped, we saw one of the men in the practice, but I loved him. He said chalk it up to he’s a baby, and lets hope ita better tonight. Already, it’s only midnight, it has been considerably better. C slept from 830-12.

 I fed him at seven, and tries to put him down, but he wasn’t having it. He wanted to eat again only 30 minutes later, and then wanted some awake time. I had already swaddled him, and started getting frustrated, but then took a step back and realized I was forcing the sleep issue. He hadn’t given any sleepy cues. So we unswaddled him and he had alert awake time for about thirty minutes, then went down. Not without a peep, he whimpered randomly, but without screaming. And fell asleep on his own.

the ped also said 10-15 of focused vigorous sucking and swallowing/breast is all C needs. Wooi! Clothed Calvin weighed 8lbs4oz.


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Presidents days

My 6 week post partum ob appt is scheduled for February 12. Considering I’ve been on pelvic rest for pretty much the duration of this pregnancy, I’m looking forward to getting cleared to have sex again.

Joseph is off on president day. We never do valentines day on valentines, BC we’re old and don’t like crowds. So I thought we’d celebrate by going out to a movie and lunch on presidents day. We can ask his mom to watch C and we can have a nice date. Well, last night as we were cuddling I think our plans have changed. We now will ask his mom to watch C, but we’ll bring lunch home, eat, and nap.

sounds amazing. I’m super looking forward to it.

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I’m greedy

My heart is over flowing with love for our little boy. But I’m already thinking to the future, and what that holds for our family. I know we will continue to grow our family, I’m not sure how that will happen. I know Calvin will have some siblings. Whether permanent through birth or adoption, or temporary through fostering. But…


I didn’t realize how much I would miss it. It wasn’t easy, it was glamorous, but it was one of the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced.

I very likely am romanticizing the past nine months. But I’m greedy.

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2 week post-partum update

I can’t believe Calvin is already 2 weeks old.  We actually went into the OB today to remove my cerclage! She did it in the office, and she said it looks great. I can expect the bleeding to increase to as much a heavy period(because right now I’m pretty much spotting.) Joseph went with me, just incase there were any issues, but there weren’t(!). They did ask if we were interested in contraceptive, to which we both said now. I hope we are one of those awesomely annoying people who accidentally get knocked up and don’t find out until I go in for a post partum appt. It would be crazy, but wonderful.

Breast feeding is going well, Calvin likes to eat, and does it well. He’s getting more efficient, but I think a lot of that is my massaging my milk down. If I do that, he can take both breasts in about 45-50 minutes. Where if not, its an hour-1.5 hours of him sleeping and munching.

I’m wearing my bellefit corset pretty much around the clock, and I feel like it is working. Here is me this morning without the corset on. My belly is still squishy, and I’m still up 4 lbs, so perhaps that’s why. I honestly feel like my belly is flatter now than it was before we got pregnant. Phototastic-1_13_2015_517eb3f7-ea0d-4e33-8da4-b95ddcd1c77b

Sleeping is going ok. Calvin eats about every 4 hours at night, but in the evenings he has started cluster feeding. Which isn’t bad, but it leaves Joseph feeling a bit helpless because he can’t comfort Calvin.

My wedding rings are back on, and I LOVE IT! I’ve missed wearing them.

Calvin is just amazing, and I am so thankful for him everyday. I am sad that Joseph is back at work. But I am enjoying this time with my boy.

First day without daddy.

Today was our first day without Joseph. I was so stressed about J getting enough sleep last night, I think I caused Calvin’s terrible sleep last night. But J has the amazing ability to sleep through all of it. He woke up this morning feeling rested and wonderful. He worked an hour later today BC he’s coming with me to the ob tomorrow to hopefully get my cerclage removed. So we’re still waiting on him, but I know he’s on his way. Calvin and I have done great. This morning I did the dishes and folded laundry. We napped this afternoon, and currently have been nursing off and on(cause the boy falls asleep) for two hours… Oh well. Only four more days til the weekend!

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These are few of C’s favorite things.

Windows. Calvin loves to sit in his glider and stare out the our front windows. We usually keep the blinds closed, but he likes it so much, we’ve been keeping them open.WP_20150111_002

We also discovered C likes these black and white board books. My sisters threw me a book and toy shower, and my sweet friend I, whose an english teacher, got these for Calvin. One is a regular board book, and one folds out accordion style. With black backgrounds and white pictures on one side, and white background with black pictures on the other. She said her cousin has just had a baby who loved them. Turns out Calvin is mesmerized by them as well. Here’s Joseph and I playing a board game, and Calvin having naked time(his bum has a little diaper rash, so we wanted to let it breathe) and staring at his book.V__9DBEWP_20150111_001