Monthly Archives: January 2016

cycle update

I finished my last night of clomid on Saturday, estrogen patch is on. I have my follicle scan Tuesday at 11, we’re hoping for 2-3 follicles and a good looking lining. Then we’ll trigger and do an iui (I think) 36 hours post trigger.

I feel like I’ve at least got a decent size follicle on each ovary, maybe 2 on my right. Maybe alot more than that, I just definitely feel acheyish.

newborns are hard

well, sweet pea has had 1 billion appointments over the last couple days, and I braved going out without a double stroller, or even a stroller with a carseat attachement, and it went well.

when we were pregnant with Calvin, everyone was all “sleep while you can” blah blah blah. We had Calvin, and I was tired, but nowhere near as tired as I am now. With Calvin, when when he naps, I napped. Not always, but I could. With two kids essentially a year apart, I don’t get to nap. Additionally I’m doing all the feedings sun-Thurs BC Joe has to wake up and be functional at work, which is fine. I’m not complaining at all. But it wears me out.

Calvin is also starting to experience jealousy. It took him til Friday, but he was super needy and if I was holding her, he’d get angry. So my goal is to vfull gia love tank up this weekend, and hope he last til Friday again.

we’re a bit crazy over here.

fifth night with sweet pea. And 1st night of clomid. Alternating 100&150mg. Follow scan in a week, planning to do an iui. And DANG I forgot how expensive estrogen patches are. I’ve gotta price some other pharmacies, WalMart wanted $85 with a coupon. I’ve got five days to figure it out.

here’s our reasoning with going forward with treatment…Sweet pea isn’t a sure thing. They could take her away tomorrow. I don’t want to put treatments on hold because right now she is completely temporary. If things change, I’ll bet the crazy mom with three 1&under. What an amazing problem to maybe have😊

much better

we went to the pediatrician, and sweet pea had a tongue tie. Tongue ties can cause major issues with breastfeeding, but she was taking formula well in the hospital so they thought she’d be fine. Well with Calvin I used tommee tippee bottles so I busted them out with sweet pea. Ugh! I think the reason we were up last night is the sweet pea can’t eat well from those. One time, after minutes of sucking, I looked down and the amount hadn’t changed. We’re likely getting it clipped, buy I did go through all those sample bottles you get from registering, and I had two mam bottles and then the medal nipple to put on a breast milk storage bottle. I gave sweet pea two oz in a mam bottle, and in 10 minutes it was gone. So last night, sweet pea didn’t want to go to sleep til 1130, but after that we fed at 1,4,&7. Not too shabby. I’m hopeful that with fuller feeds we’ll lengthen that. Dr said we can let sweet pea do 4 hour stretches at night, but no longer til we make birthweight(still 6 oz short.) we have a weight check Monday.

hardest yet

last night was the hardest yet. Sweet pea was up 6 times in 10 hours. Rough. We’re currently sitting in the pediatricians office waiting to be seen. I have no paperwork on sweet pea, I have an emailed ECO, but no health insurance or anything. So we may be here while. Social worker is coming this afternoon to see sweet pea but other than that, we’re just going to have a relaxing day.

sweet pea

well, we’re coming out of our second night with a newborn. Its so easy to forget how little they are! Sweet pea takes a bottle every 3 hours, right now only 1-1.5 oz. Calvin is super interested in sweet pea, and is adjusting to sharing his momma and dad.

well, time to swaddle this sweet pea and sleep til Calvin wakes up😊

instamomoftwo

please disregard my last post.

Joe and I talked about it some, talked about it with our small group, and just kinda let it drop. This morning I had our quarterly home visit with our social worker. Not even an hour later she texted me saying “not even joking, I have a newborn girl, are you interested?” I called Joe and he said yes. So now, we have a little bitty sweet pea, who’s going to wake up wanting nourishment in 45 minutes. There goes sleeping through the night.

I’m not pregnant

I’m around 14dpo, I’m not pregnant. As soon as AF arrives, I’m calling the RE. so of course this is dragging. I’m kind of ridiculously excited.

in other news, my grandfather passed away and o went to his memorial in Austin TX this past weekend.

so as far as fostering, it typically goes like this. They call, we say yes, and something happens(family, or they don’t take them into care) or I’m out of town, they call, and we just can’t swing it with just one parent. That’s happened three times. The most recent time this weekend, with a newborn, straight from the hospital. If I was in town, we would have taken him. But I wasn’t. So we said no. Its understandable, but hard for me. The other hard part is that fostering is an area of contention in our marriage. Truthfully, Joe isn’t 100%. Its a case by case basis, which is totally fine. But the times when he is okay with a placement, we don’t get it. So then the next time, when we may actually get it, he doesn’t say yes. And then I get upset. Like I was super upset this weekend, even though it made complete sense. But we either say yes, and Joe is praying something doesn’t work out, it we say no and I’m upset. Really, I just need to respect my husband and be done with fostering, BC I think he is. But I stubborn, and I try and guilt him into it, which isn’t fair, and manipulative. I just think he sees the initial work and stress and it doesn’t seem worth it, and I see a child who needs love, and I know that we have love to give. And I know he would grow to love that child, but I get attached fast, where as he is more reserved. We’ll likely close BC Joe will want to, but I pray, with all my heart, that his mind and heart will change. When we didn’t know if we would have a baby, he was all for it, but I think that now that we have Calvin, he’s content with whatever biological children we can have, where I still feel like we went through all of the infertility to get us to realize, a family is dependent on blood relation. I guess I just feel like if we close our home, then what was the point? Why did we struggle to get pregnant? What was God teaching us?