I’m not pregnant

I’m around 14dpo, I’m not pregnant. As soon as AF arrives, I’m calling the RE. so of course this is dragging. I’m kind of ridiculously excited.

in other news, my grandfather passed away and o went to his memorial in Austin TX this past weekend.

so as far as fostering, it typically goes like this. They call, we say yes, and something happens(family, or they don’t take them into care) or I’m out of town, they call, and we just can’t swing it with just one parent. That’s happened three times. The most recent time this weekend, with a newborn, straight from the hospital. If I was in town, we would have taken him. But I wasn’t. So we said no. Its understandable, but hard for me. The other hard part is that fostering is an area of contention in our marriage. Truthfully, Joe isn’t 100%. Its a case by case basis, which is totally fine. But the times when he is okay with a placement, we don’t get it. So then the next time, when we may actually get it, he doesn’t say yes. And then I get upset. Like I was super upset this weekend, even though it made complete sense. But we either say yes, and Joe is praying something doesn’t work out, it we say no and I’m upset. Really, I just need to respect my husband and be done with fostering, BC I think he is. But I stubborn, and I try and guilt him into it, which isn’t fair, and manipulative. I just think he sees the initial work and stress and it doesn’t seem worth it, and I see a child who needs love, and I know that we have love to give. And I know he would grow to love that child, but I get attached fast, where as he is more reserved. We’ll likely close BC Joe will want to, but I pray, with all my heart, that his mind and heart will change. When we didn’t know if we would have a baby, he was all for it, but I think that now that we have Calvin, he’s content with whatever biological children we can have, where I still feel like we went through all of the infertility to get us to realize, a family is dependent on blood relation. I guess I just feel like if we close our home, then what was the point? Why did we struggle to get pregnant? What was God teaching us?


2 thoughts on “I’m not pregnant

  1. I hope you both find peace and answers about fostering. We almost fostered a few years ago but I didn’t think my heart could handle it. I know that foster families are very needed and important but I don’t think now is a good time in my life to do it. I’m open to considering it later on though.

    1. I completely understand, and I kinda think that’s where the hubby is. Not right now, but later. The issue is that getting trained, and getting your actual house open is SO much work. And if we were to close. We’d have to redo everything later. Its like 40 hours of training. And a huge big ole safety check list for your home. Extensive background checks, extensive intrusive personal conversations with a social worker, and so many more hoops. I just don’t want to close, knowing that when the time comes, we’d just have to redo everything.

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