10 months and broken

We have officially been TTC #2/3 for 10 months. I’ve kept pretty good spirits so far. With the seconf failureof our iui we got our foster baby peanut who has kept me busy, but now it’s been 10 months, and I’m not pregnant. And I’m disappointed. I just was hopeful that it would be easier the second time around. It isn’t. It isn’t easier to conceive or to deal with infertility. I still feel like my body is failing me. I feel like I want to run more tests. To figure out why we struggle. But we’ve run the tests, they’re all fine.

When I wasexplaining this to Joe, he asked if Calvin wasn’t enough. Which if peanut goes home and Calvin was our one and only miracle, he is enough. But as long as I am not menopausal, I will always hope that there is a way I could get pregnant. And then always be disappointed when I’m not. We may go get a second opinion, but I like my doctor. So we may not. I definitely want to do some treatment again, maybe in October, November and December. Then take a break again. Idk, but this infertility can wreck you.

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2 thoughts on “10 months and broken

  1. It’s a constant mind game. I feel like the only reason I’m not obsessing over it right now is because I haven’t gotten a post partum period yet. I truly hope #2 happens for you. ❤

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