I can’t say thank you enough.
Friday was rough. It was 6 months since our confirmed miscarriage. It was the end of our 21st FAILED cycle. And I was down(as I’m fairly certain was evident from my post.)
I had a super intense cry. A great holding time with Joseph. Woke up Saturday with swollen eyes from crying to a new day. We will have our family.
I have been crampy all day.
I was hopeful this month. Despite only having one egg. I was put on metformin, which I hoped beyond all hope would do the trick. I feel pregnant, as in I can feel my uterus. Alas, my womb is babyless.
So what am I doing now? I’ve lost all motivation to work on our kiddo room. So instead I am researching computer engineering jobs in other countries(that speak English) and hoping Joseph will say we should up and move. This is about 70% joking, but 30% serious. I’m not sure why, I just know right here, where we are is painful for me everyday. So I’d like to escape.
In shorter, less drastic, terms of escape, I think we have decided to go on a nice allinclusive vacation this summer. Its been 20 months since we’ve been on a vacation, and we’ve been on this stupid infertility ride for 21 months. So its looking like the first couple of week in July we’re going. We haven’t booked, we’re pricing it out, but we need this.
I was cramping yesterday, and through the night, a bit this morning. But…
BFN! Ugh! I’m a bit irritated. I can’t get pregnant with meds, I couldn’t get pregnant without. Can a girl just get knocked up?!