Category Archives: GreatestHusband

Bleeding cervix

Just thought I’d pop in and give you an update. Oh crap, I need to take a bump pic today as well.

Any who, I am 21 weeks pregnant with sweet baby boy Calvin. My cervix is still bleeding. I had two days of just brownish to normal cervical mucuous, but then (TMI) I had a BM and started gushing blood. It in two days, in time for another BM(this morning) where I started gushing blood again.

This leads me to believe that if bearing down to pass a normal non constipated poop causes this much bleeding, bearing down to push a Calvin sized baby out of my cervix is not a good idea either.

Our small groups knows about the bleeding, as do both sets of parents. But the new bleeding is exacerbated by bearing down, I haven’t shared with any of them. Yesterday, I visited my parents house like I do almost every Friday afternoon(my dad has half days, and my younger brother isn’t working, so at that visit I can see 5/8 family members, which is pretty good) and told him about Dr.T and her wanting us to consider having a csection. He informed me if she was persistent, I could go to another doctor. I just said that we’re absolutely considering it and if its what we need to do to keep everyone safe, that’s what we’ll do. I imagine if I had informed him of the cervix explodes when I bear down, he’d understand more, but its weird to talk to your dad about your bleeding cervix. Lol.

Joseph felt Calvin move this week for sure, we think he felt him last week, but it was only once, this week he’s felt him several times. Calvin actually woke me up this morning, well Calvin moving and my extreme hunger.

Also at my parents house on Friday my dad said they’re going to have to figure out a new family dinner arrangement. Currently we have big family dinners at least every holiday and whenever my little sister comes in town from college. There are 7 original family members, three significant others, our neighbor, my sweet niece Charlie, and soon to be Calvin. But my dad was saying, it was crammed with the 8(7 original + Joseph) since then we’ve added a folding card table on the end of the long table to accommodate the rest, but Charlie’s now sitting at the table in high chair, and any moment we could have a foster child or two. So they’re figuring out a new set up. It was really nice to include our potential foster kiddos and Calvin. I think us having our little miss, ever if it was just for 48 hours, just kind of put it into perspective in terms of the fact that things happen fast.

Last night I felt huge. I wasn’t huge, I was super full(we ate Qdoba!) and bloated. And I feel like Calvin is growing so much that I’m growing and hurting a bit.

All in all, I am so incredibly thankful for my sweet boy.

I am so looking forward to reading all of your posts. I know several of you are in IVF cycles, and I am praying so hard this is it for you!.

Cervix, Calvin, and heart update.

So today I had my colposcopy (microscope view of my cervix.) My ob got in there, and rubbed the vinegar solution on my cervix, and it started bleeding. Profusely bleeding. Like spent ten minutes changing out “sponges” to get it to wear she was comfortable. She wasn’t even able to really get a good look. She doesn’t think it is cancer, but wants has referred me to an ob oncologist(who I’m supposed to meet with in the next two weeks) who sees cancer everyday to be sure. I asked her, if this bleeding just by being touched, had an implication on delivery. She said that if this continues, she’ll likely want to do a c-section. After delivery, she may want to do a biopsy. The ob oncologist may want to a biopsy sooner, which I feel like if she does, we’ll let her. For now, I’m cramping and bleeding, which they told me was ok. I can use tampons for the next 48 hours. If I bleed through more than a tampon/pad an hour, then I’m suppose to call and they’ll have me come in to impact my vagina(stuff it full of sponges.) but hopefully that won’t be an issue. Pelvic rest for the of my pregnancy.

We also had our fetal heart echo/anatomy scan today. Calvin is a MOVER. weighting 11 ounces. Everything measures on time or ahead, except his femur is about a week behind. I know this is a soft marker for down syndrome, but his nuchal fold is normal, and his renal glands and kidneys are normal. Also, Joseph has a longer torso and shorter legs, so I’m thinking he just takes after his daddy. Also he’s got a bigger gap between his big toe and second toe like his daddy. So that’s what I’m going with so I have one less thing to worry about. In terms of his heart, Calvin flipped over and wouldn’t flip back over, they tried for 20 minutes, so they couldn’t get all their measurements. What they saw looks great (4 chambers, all correct arteries) but they want me to go back in at 28 weeks to get another peek at his heart.

I also had my maternal heart echo this morning. they didn’t tell me anything, they have to write their report and my dr will tell me. But I think I have a murmur(which isn’t news.) But there is no issue with my PDA repair(which isn’t news either.)

No One Higher

Today at church, I was a mixed bag of crazy pregnant hormonal emotions. During worship, they played No One Higher

Which is a great worship song. About half way through I started crying. Like tears rolling down my face. Because our baby has ears and can hear, and you know what our baby heard today? Thousands of people pouring their heart out in worship. Including his mommy and daddy. And I couldn’t contain myself, I was so overwhelmed with the idea of Joseph and I raising our baby boy, to worship unashamedly. Belt out praise to his Lord and Savior. And it’s starting now.

He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

Matthew 11:15

And my baby has ears!

Then the sermon series that finished up today was titles Fake ID. It was about how we often identify ourselves with worldly attributes. When we should be identify ourselves in Christ. Any who, our pastor started out discussing Nominative Determinism. Which according to wikipedia (ya know, super reliable source) Nominative determinism (ND) is the theory that a person’s name can have a significant role in determining key aspects of job, profession or even character.

To a mother worrying about the name we have picked out, hearing this made me panic. The meaning of the name we are about 95% sure on is (with first and middle) Bald Prosperous Ruler. So I’m panicking. Names are hard. But then I realized, the whole point of the series is to not let anyone or thing define you outside of Christ. So my hope is that our sons name, despite the literal meaning, will come to represent so much more than Bald Prosperous Ruler.

We have been praying for this baby since before it was a reality. Before medical intervention. Before we even began trying. But I was praying FOR this baby. “Father God, give us a child we can raise to love and serve you.” This has been my prayer for years. Now it’d morphed into a more extensive prayer“Father God, help Joseph and I raise this child to be Your child. To not live for this world. To know, and love, and serve, and disciple in Your name.” And is it weird that I’m already praying for his future wife and his future children. I am.

Breast Pump

I know I have posted about being confused about breast feeding or bottle feeding. But several people had told me to call insurance to see if they covered a breast pump. For some reason I was very hesitant to call, thinking there was no way they would. Well, they do. at 100%. An electric double pump, I just need to get my ob to write a prescription for one. I have two choices, Medal in style personal advanced, or Ameda purely yours. Neither are the one that I thought I wanted, but free is better than $400. This made me super happy, and relieved. Because we also got our “ob budget” this week. How come every other health care situation, they bill insurance first, and then us? But the ob wants us to pay in advanced for our delivery? And my due date is 2015, so naturally the number was much larger than I had wanted it to be. I called my insurance and they were like “you need to have that baby 4-5 days early.” I know! ugh!

Any who, 15 weeks today. I don’t really feel much different. I really don’t have a bump, people say they see bumps, but I promise you, that is just chub I had before. I guess at the end of the day, I probably have one. I’m still –6 pounds. So who knows. This week I have started to be able to feel my uterus all the time(it use to be just when I was laying on my belly.) We find out the gender in 12 days!!! Eeeek! I can hardly wait. I think it’s a girl. Joseph thinks it is a girl. We have our girl name(first and middel) picked out, but recently I threw out another option for the “nickname” of her. Joseph isn’t sold. I really like our initial nickname, but I also really like the new one. Who knows. We have our boy first name picked out. I think we may have a middle name, but just because I like it, and Joseph would settle. Either way, we are so overwhelming grateful for this little(maybe as big as 4.5 inches long) life growing inside of me.

Breast feeding V. Formula feeding

So I started another blog. I don’t like it because none of you all are there. Lol. Who knows if I’ll keep it up. I had an ob appt Tuesday, baby is doing fine. I’m 13 weeks 5 days today. We took announcement pictures this past Monday and I should be getting them back today. Also, we are officially open for foster care. So prior to this, we could have gotten a placement, but only if every other home in our county couldn’t take them. Now we are just on the list. So yesterday I toured the day care I think we’ll put them in if our in home care thing doesn’t work out. It was a fine day care. But anyways, back to the title.

Here me out, I have no preferences, pretty much about anything in terms of birthing and raising our baby. Except, NO episiotomy. Other than that, I’m good to go. I have been informed that women who struggled to get pregnant, have a higher tendency of post partum depression. Also winter births have a higher tendency of ppd. So honestly, my goal is to just stay as sane as possible post baby. So here’s where it happens. I am only going to get 6 weeks of maternity leave. I think. I can request for more time, but who knows if it’ll get approved. I know 6 weeks is pretty standard here in the US, but it just doesn’t seem like enough time. So with that being said, I could absolutely breast feed and pump, but the initial cost of getting a pump is going to be like $400. In addition to the fact that the first 6 weeks of breastfeeding people say are the worst. Like if you can make it 6 weeks, you can make it longer. But when I go back to work, as far pumping, I don’t think I will be able to match a schedule that will be needed at 6 weeks.

So then I thought, well, I’ll just breastfeed 6 weeks, and then stop. But why would I put myself through 6 weeks of frustration only to stop?

So then I think, I’ll just formula feed for the beginning. I know I know, breast feeding is “better.” But I’m thinking formula may be better for our family, and our situation. Just start right off the bat formula feeding. Be able to have Joseph help with feeding in the early days. Not stress about whether or not baby is getting enough milk. Not stress about figuring out a pumping schedule. Only having to be awake for the feeding, not a feeding and pumping. Then the added stress of going back to work.

See as a teacher, I can only pump on planning or lunch. I can’t tell my students to work quietly for 20 minutes, then duck into a closet to pump. But I just got my schedule, and I wouldn’t be able to pump for 5 hours(lunch) then in the afternoon (1 hour later) I have planning. This seems fine, but at 6 weeks, from what I can gather, I should be pumping still every 3-4 hours, and there is just no way I could. Which I know would cause me stress in addition to having to leave my baby.

So I am legitimately debating this.

Week 8 in review: rainbow update

This weeks didn’t bring many changes. I am sleeping 12-14 hours a night, and so thankful to be able to, even when I wake up, I feel like I could sleep for hours more. I had my real first instance of waking up in the middle of the night starving and had to venture out to the kitchen to get something to eat. I had my real first almost vomit, which I credit to brushing my teeth, and am so thankful Joseph was home and able to run to get some saltines.

How far along: this update is for 8 weeks

Total weight gain: –4 lbs from prepregnancy

Maternity clothes: I did make a pair of maternity shorts which I wear frequently. All of my other clothes still fit, but these shorts didn’t until I made them maternity.

Sleep: I feel like I could do this all day.

Best moment of this week: Seeing how big headed our baby is.

Miss anything: Not really.

Size of baby: Right now it’s the size of a grape/green olive.

Food cravings/aversions: aversions to EVERYTHING. I have things I want. Sonic Ice Water is still a big one. I’m really wanting nachos, like the crappy ball game nachos with jalapenos. We’re going to have to stop buy all the gas stations to find some.

Anything making you queasy or sick: The smell of mayonnaise, ground beef, chicken.

Have you started to show yet: Just the bloat, and its bad!

Gender: We both think boy now. we’ll know in about 7 weeks!

Labor signs: too early..

Belly button in or out: In, but I can hardly wait for it to be out!

Wedding rings on or off: I’m pretty bad about remember to wear rings, but just because I’m forgettful.

Happy or moody most of the time: Volatility is high, per Joseph.

Looking forward to: First OB appt on Tuesday the 3rd. Also my grandfather is coming in town.


What scares me the most.

A lot of women have fear about delivery. The unknown. I have two fears about that wonderful day that will be here in the 32 weeks.

1. Joseph. My husband is a type 1 diabetic. He was dx at 21, after we had been married for 2 months. His diagnosis was a scary scary thing, and I’m so thankful we have such wonderful supportive families who drove(past every hospital in town) to bring us clothes and offer us support as we stayed in the ICU. Since then, Joseph has done amazing. He has great control, both of his blood sugars and his impulses. However, when we spent four hours in the ER when I was bleeding, it was enough to get his adrenaline pumping, which has crazy effects on blood sugar. So the endorphins, adrenaline, and anxiety/nervousness around delivery makes me nervous about him. Blood sugar is a weird thing, and there is no predicting it. I just want him to be healthy, comfortable, and coherent through everything.

2. Episiotomy. I hate the idea of one. I don’t want one, honestly I’d rather have a c-section than an episiotomy. I think it is just something I’m going to have to be super clear about with my OB. I don’t want one, if she is really into giving one, then I’ll find a different OB. I don’t want one. Ouch.

Pregnant and sex.

When we first found out we were pregnant. It had been three days since we last had sex. We decided together we wouldn’t partake in relations until our first ultrasound. Mainly because our last loss, we had initial bleeding after sex, we were assured it was ok just a sensitive cervix, I knew it wasn’t. So we waited til we saw a heart beat. We saw a heart beat Thursday, and I was too tired Thursday and Friday, thinking the weekend would be perfect. I started bleeding on Saturday, ER Saturday ultrasound revealed subchorionic hemorrhage, pelvic rest until we followed up with our RE. Five days later we followed up, hemorrhage hasn’t changed, continue pelvic rest. Today at our ultrasound 8w4d hemorrhage was gone! So, after five and half weeks, sex is on. In fact. Joseph took a half day, we came home, I laid down to take a nap, and couldn’t sleep, so I beckoned Joseph in for a little romp. Pregnant sex is nice, hope to have more of it now that we’re cleared.

Pizza miscommunication

Today we had our last ultrasound with our RE. We are so thankful our big headed, beating heart baby is growing well. Afterwards I convince Joseph to take me to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. I order BBQ chicken pizza and only at three out of the eight slices. And they were the smallest. We discussed that I could eat the rest for dinner. Fastforward five hours, and Joseph is making himself a grilled cheese(have I mentioned how bad I am at cooking since the nausea has set it?) so I ask him to preheat the oven and put in the pizza stone. He kindly does. I hear the oven beep, and set my timer foe thirty minutes to preheat the pizza stone(BC cpk says to do this.) he comes out to get a drink right as its time for me to get off my butt and put in my pizza. But since Joseph was already in the kitchen I asked him to. My sweet husband put in a pizza and set the timer. 12 minutes later the timer goes off, and I finally get off my butt to go get my pizza. I grab a plate, turn off the timer, turn off the oven, and open the door. And I immediately want to cry. Joseph and I had a miscommunication, and he cooked me a whole frozen pepperoni pizza. Which I struggled with because in my mind I was going to be eating sweet BBQ chicken pizza. I sucked it up, and the pizza was delicious. And even though I was upset, I am so thankful for my husband, and his servant heart.