This time last year, all I wanted was a job. I wanted a teaching job somewhere. 355 days ago we found out we were pregnant. 344 days ago I started bleeding. If I had a job, I would have been starting my job somewhere between 344 and 355 days ago. There is no way I could have taught. If you recall, I could barely function. I have had the last 14 months free from the stress of a teaching job. And yes, teaching is immensely stressful.
In the last 14 months, I have dealt with loss. I have become a better wife. I have focused on being a great friend and great sister. I have sewn and created whenever I wanted. I have slept as long as my healing heart needed. I have cried all throughout the day some days. I have rewatched the entire series of Grey’s Anatomy several times. I have knitted stockings. I have watched and rewatched the entire (new) series of Doctor Who. I have loved my husband and given him all of me. I have greeted him at the door (most) days with a smile, hug, kiss, and an I love you. I have baked all sorts of yummy creations.
I. Have. Had. Time.
Tomorrow is my first “duty” of the school year. So I am starting to say goodbye to my free time. I am excited for this school year. I am excited to be teaching at the small private school. I am excited to be working. I am excited to have a regular pay check.(!!!!)
It’s going to be an adjustment. I am nervously excited.
Well, I have enjoyed the last year. Just subbing around, watching some kiddos, sleeping in when I felt like it. And it has been wonderful for my spiritual and emotional well being. Dealing with infertility and teaching I think would have been too much this year. Not even including the fact that I miscarried the first week of school, so that would have been NUTS. But the school year and drawing to an end, which means that positions are becoming available, so my resume starts going out again.
Its going to be difficult to go back to work, especially if we have some kiddos in our home, but I know it’s the best thing for us to do.
But it kinda makes me sad.
I am currently ovulating…allegedly. It’s been 36 hours since we triggered. Also, I did a VLOG about my follicle scan, but realized I never did a written blog.
If you recall, we had decided to go all in this month. My RE upped my Femara to 10mg, hoping to pull up a third follicle. I was also put on metformin. I’ve been eating lower carb, drinking green tea, using cooking oils as lube. And we were going to try IUI if everything looked good.
My follie scan was Wednesday at 10am. My lining was 7.5mm(!) no cervical mucus was seen, BUT I wasn’t taking my expectorant as I should have been. I only have one mature follicle, on my left ovary, it was about a 19. My right ovary had a follicle about 13. I was super disappointed. The point of IUI is to have more eggs, and more sperm. But since we didn’t have more eggs, we decided to not do the IUI and waste the money. So we triggered Thursday morning in the 6 o’clock hour. So I’m probably ovulating, or really freaking close. If today is O day, we bd’d o-1 and o-3. We may go again tonight, we’ll have to wait and see.
In other news, Joseph and I were just discussing that we need to come up with a way to make more money. Because either way we look to expand our family(fertility treatments or adoption) cost a lot. And within three days, I have had two job opportunities.
I was contacted Wednesday I believe by a friend who currently does Foster care wanting to know if I would watch her two boys three days a week. I talked to Joseph and accepted, and am set to start Monday. Today driving home from my friend A’s house, I got a phone call from a sweet friend and there is a math opening at her school. She teaches at a good high school in the county I would like to get a job in. So I’m stuck. I went ahead an emailed the principal, and if he emails me saying he wants to set up an interview, I’ll tell my friend.
Here’s my pros and cons list.
So back in August, when I was happily pregnant (actually four days before the miscarriage) I interviewed at a middle school in the district I was *trying* to transfer into. I didn’t get a call back, which ended up being great because I started bleeding the Monday I would have had to start working. I miscarried the first week of school. There is no way I could have worked through that. Emotionally, when you have waited, prayed, and cried over a baby for so long, only to get him, and lose him, there is no way I could have dealt with a new teaching job, with no time to prep.
Well today I got a phone call, from the same middle school. Now, the district I was trying to get into has 48 schools I am qualified to teach at. I applied in February 2013, I got ONE phone call for an interview, and this specific middle school. And that same middle school called me to come in to interview for a position on Thursday. So, maybe I am suppose to be at that school. Maybe those students need me as a teacher for some reason I don’t know. And maybe God knew this all along, but knew I wasn’t in a place to teach in August. And maybe here is God opening up that door again.
Maybe not, but I’d like to think so. I interview Thursday at 2:50 pm. Prayers are welcome.